I've been really exhausted. My first official week working at AJC is finally over. 4 more weeks to go now. I can't wait, really, but I'm sure when the end has finally arrived, I would definitely miss them. They are really a great bunch of kids although I do find myself at loss of what to do sometimes even though I've planned the whole lesson beforehand. Teaching is not easy, let me just tell you that.

I guess after all the lessons I've taught so far at AJC, SLPS and WDP, I can say that I am motivated to be a teacher. Don't get me wrong, I've never looked down upon teaching as a profession. In fact, teaching is something I've always wanted to do since young - it's one of those ambitions you have which never seemed to die out although it might have been unconsciously forgotten along the way. Don't tell me it's cliche or whatever to be a teacher because something so noble like teaching should never be seen as a normal job, true? So I guess I've made up my mind truly about what I really wanna do in the years to come. I may or may not pursue an education in NIE straight after I get my hands on the result slip which will determine my future in pursuing further studies in local universities, but I'm very sure that I want to be a teacher one day. InsyaAllah!

It's funny how I'm only appreciating my teachers more now. I've always had a certain admiration for my teachers, especially those who have spurred my interest in my lingua franca like Cikgu Amizah in primary school and Cikgu Hernani and Cikgu Ezra in high school. (I don't deny that I may have lost it along the way and I'm truly ashamed of myself to even be acknowledging that but I've sincerely made a vow to never let that happen again). However, it's only now that I understand how much effort they've put in to stimulate young minds to love the language. One way or another, I'm doing the same, only I have to do it with a group of students who have no idea what the Malay language is about. They say, you'll never truly understand til' you put yourself in somebody else's (in this case, our teachers') shoes.

So here's to all past, present and future teachers! Continue this teaching legacy! :D


On a completely different note (and something which is more closely related to the title for this post), there are some things I learnt today through conversations, speeches and what I saw which made me realise how lucky I am to be born into a good family. I'm lucky I was never put through unnecessary stress by my parents since young, even during exam periods. I'm lucky I never had to work to support my family at such a tender age (while the main reason I'm looking for a job now is to support my bigspender tendencies). I'm lucky my dad gives in to my whims , I'm lucky I get whatever I ask for. In fact, all my siblings are lucky to have parents like ours. We get to go on vacation, no matter how short, at the end of each year, we get to eat at restaurants and hotels every two week and we get items striked off our wishlist. The materialistic side aside, we're lucky for the good education from good schools, we're lucky we are fed enough and we are lucky that we don't have to worry about not being sheltered because we have a house to call home even if it's just a humble HDB flat and not a fancy condo or a huge mansion or anything like that. We are also lucky we don't have to fight for attention from our parents because my parents love us unconditionally and fairly.

Which is why it pains me to see people, especially the innocent, getting hurt. Which is why I feel guilty when I read about young kids in Indonesia and Thailand who have to work, hard earning just about a dollar a day, in order to support their family of probably 10 or more. Which is why I realised how unfair I've been to my parents all these while. Let's not even talk about those who are separated from us by international borders when there are people in Singapore who are living the hard life. Worse still, if it's someone you know - a friend or perhaps your own family member. How can you still go on with your everyday life when you know that someone dear to you may not be enjoying life confortably? How can you not be afflicted by any of these? It's really difficult to express the overwhelming feelings, but I can't pretend like it doesn't exist either when it's sticking out like a sore thumb.

Then, what about those above who have been given help but are not doing anything to help themselves? How can you reason out with them? Some people are given plenty of opportunities, plenty of attention, yet they seek to do something so despicable. Do we feel sad for them or should we just be apathetic? What I saw today (some people may already know about this but I don't wish to elaborate any further because it's plain revolting) or rather who I saw today doing something made me realise that some people just don't appreciate whatever their parents have given them. (And god, I wish to never witness such revolting act again).

This world is truly becoming a labyrinth of troubles, a pandemonium and whathaveyous. I, on the other hand, am on a mission to find light and to find the truth. I've been frequenting the mosque, performing my prayers there when I get the chance to and I'm even attending religious classes (3 days in a row!) because I'm trying to seek solace and I'm trying to strengthen the foundation that I already have and build on it.

P.S: Anum, I miss you BFF! :( I'm still glad we managed to spend some time together last week at least! And talking on the phone and all that. And don't stress out okay! Make full use of your second chance and I'm very sure you'll do fine! Don't be so panicky dear! You know I'm always here!